10 things I've done that you probably haven't

(I have a paper to write tonight so, sure 'nuff, I'll indulge a silly meme that still manages to be less silly than the paper I must hand in tomorrow morning.)

1. Stupidly daring (reckless, really) illegal/immoral acts involving either drugs, housing, academics, or immigration Never mind

2. Had sloppy, drunk sex with one of America's Most Wanted (unbeknownst to me at the time and startlingly discovered months later in a late-night bad-TV-watching binge.)

3. Physically fought a Chinese businessman who tried to drag me out of my legitimately hailed cab in early evening rush traffic on Canal St.

4. Snuck onto a huge ship off the coast of Staten Island in the middle of a January night by means of a tiny boat and a flimsy ladder. This act of foolishness is to be blamed on a few sailors, a few female friends, and a few drinks. No sex was had but plenty shame was experienced the morning after, when we left the premises under the stare of tens of judging Navy eyes. (Friend's alcohol poisoning and hospitalization immediately prior to above mentioned adventure intentionally edited out)

5. Occupied what had previously been Tabitha Soren's office (mirror included)

6. Made myself over in a new country/culture/language.

7. Had a French teacher proclaim her desire to never ever ever see me again, definitively barring me from her course mid-semester for being a chronically-late-when-not-absent smartypants, only to find out 10 years later that my new girlfriend's parents happen to have her as a close friend.

8. Unwittingly oxigenated a batch of fresh semen by sucking it into a syringe, noticing a few bubbles and squeezing it back out in order to start over, a move that horribly backfired by creating a cluster of semen bubbles resembling a miniature bunch of grapes.

9. Packed journalism, education, film & TV production, advertising, publishing, and social work in under 10 years. In alphabetical order, I've been a babysitter, cleaning lady, copywriter, editor, filmmaker, journalist, producer, production assistant, production manager, proofreader, teacher, therapist, transcriber, translator, tutor. And I sold fish right by the Twin Towers on Saturday mornings.

10. And I never let all that work get in the way of my being a dilettante ;-)

Comments

[Otis B. Driftwood]

err...

[LatinoPundit]

you got me beat!

[lola]

I find this hysterically funny. I couldn't stop laughing.
Specially, because I know they are true, they brought a lot of memories. Not that I was part of them, but I usually got a phone call from you the next day.
Pretty interesting life, girl......
lola

Another one:
you almost burnt down a Nun residence.

[Pato]

TRUE!!!!! Nothing like an old friend to remind you of the importance nonsense you've built your life on ;)